Showing posts with label Family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Family. Show all posts

Monday, November 7, 2011

Monday's Meditation: The Family Likeness

I don’t particularly like the name, “The Prodigal Son.” It leaves out the family dynamic, because Jesus actually told a story about a father and two sons. Families are funny. The two sons--they had so much in common. (You can find their story here).

The younger son is infamous. He wished his father dead, and said so! The fool was soon parted from his money (was it ever really his money?). Finally, with his back to the pigpen, he devised a humble return to the family farm, even if it was only as a hired hand. Of course, the father would have none of it. He was watching for his boy all along. He wouldn’t even listen to the elaborate deal the younger son proposed. The father celebrated his return and invited everyone to do the same. This much we know.

The older brother is not as famous, but he’s gotten his share of recognition over the centuries as well. He wasn’t happy about the return of his brother. He used the father’s extravagance as fuel for criticism of his Dad.

Like many families today, both boys would be surprised to hear what others saw they had in common. They provide four meditations this Monday:

Both sons failed to grasp their identity: the younger son rejected his role as a son. He tried to “hire on” when he returned, which means he still didn’t see himself as the father’s son. But neither did the older brother. He said to his father “all these years I slaved for you.” (verse 29) Apparently he saw his role as a slave, not a son. Whether this slavery resulted from the expectations of his culture or a poor relationship with the father, we can only guess. Both sons had the unspeakable privilege a blood-bond, but neither could grasp their identity.

Both sons separated themselves from the father: the younger son famously flew the coop, but the older brother was left in the outer darkness beyond the house, hearing only the faint music of celebration in the father’s house. Both did so by their own choice, and for a time both missed out on abundance, feasting, and joy.

Both sons experienced the father’s loving pursuit: while the younger brother was still a long way off the father dropped everything and ran to him. Never was a boy so willingly captured. The older brother saw the silhouette of someone coming out from the house. It was the father, looking for a missing son. He was the kind of father who never forgot either of his boys, even when the party was in full swing. The father would go to nearly any length to welcome them both.

Both sons got to hear the father’s view of their relationship: the younger son was not allowed to demote himself to hired hand. He was a son, and he would always remain so. The older brother got to hear these exquisite words, “My son, you are always with me, and everything I have is yours.” Apparently the father never thought in terms of “inheritance.” He had always viewed everything as belonging to his boys.

If I had the chance to change popular perception of the parable, I would rename it "The Father’s Love," because there’s is no identity apart from the Father. Separation from the Father means darkness for all who choose to distance themselves. The Father’s love breaks every barrier. Best of all, the Father’s heart determines who we are even if we don’t have it quite right.

Saturday, November 13, 2010

Everyone's Entitled to My Opinion: About A Boy

Lately I’ve been intrigued by “non-traditional” family. I decided it takes more than biological links to create a family. Any two fools can make a baby, but fathering and mothering are very different issues. I know--this is no great revelation, but on Saturdays everyone’s entitled to my opinion, and today I’d like to suggest we could learn a lot about family from Hugh Grant.
Not really, he’s just the lead actor in a very good movie, About a Boy. The real teacher is British novelist Nick Hornby, who wrote the book and assisted on the screenplay. A 12 year-old named Marcus is the teacher within the film--a boy attached to a clinically depressed mother, a boy who is shunned on the playground even by the nerds, and a boy who possesses neither talent nor good looks. Oh--did I mention this is a comedy?
Hugh Grant’s role is the smarmy professional single guy named Will Lightman who discovers an untapped market--”single Mums.” Lightman is way too smooth to spend time on Marcus’ train-wreck of a mother, but still manages to meet and (surprisingly) befriend Marcus. I don’t know if “bugger off” counts as cursing in the U.K., but Marcus refuses to bugger off, and Lightman is saddled with his only true relationship in life. By the end of the film we’ve discovered that the title applies not only to Marcus but also to Will Lightman. Family, we learn, is about relationship, not biology.
That's it. Go get the movie. Like right now--hey!--did you know Netflix streams movies via the interweb? It’s amazing--now their library is closer than your closet.